Pat’s Wonder Diet
Brought to you with best wishes for the holidays
If you will follow this diet religiously – which means NEVER EATING IN CHURCH – you will notice marked lessening of your stress level. If not, there’s redemption to be had in NEW YEAR’S resolutions.
Breakfast:
One half grapefruit – no sugar
One slice whole wheat toast – dry
6 oz. skim milk
Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast – skinless
1 cup steamed spinach (with stems removed)
1 cup herbal tea, No Sugar!
1 Oreo cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack:
Balance of Oreo cookies in package
1 pint Ben & Jerry’s “Roman Holiday” ice cream
1 cup herbal tea, No Sugar!
Dinner:
Two loaves garlic bread with cheese
One large sausage, Canadian bacon, mushroom, olive, and cheese pizza
2 Hershey candy bars, No Nuts!
1 cup herbal tea, No Sugar!
Wait, wait, there’s more.
The 8 Basic Ground Rules for this Diet:
- Pumpkin pie with whipped cream eaten directly from the fridge is permitted after 6 p.m.
- If you eat something small, and no one sees you, it has no calories.
- If you drink diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
- When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if they eat more than you do.
- Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts. This would include hot chocolate with brandy or Sara Lee Strawberry Cheesecake
- Cookie pieces contain no calories, which occur only in whole cookies. However, nothing with peanut butter is permitted on this diet.
- Chocolate is the 8th Basic Food Group and is universal in color. It may be substituted for any of the food groups green in color.
- Food items with the same color have the same calories
For example … Pistachio ice cream and spinach; … mushrooms and white chocolate
Good Luck, Great Dieting, and Happy Holidays!
This is a diet I can stick to!
This is the diet we always adhere to when gathered for the retreat on St. George Island yet, inexplicably, we return home heavier. Go figure.